What I see in the mirror: Peter Hook

I see the lines that I've earned and the hooded eyes that my mother had. When I realised I looked like her – she died 12 years ago – it made me feel better, because I got a little bit of her back.

When I started Joy Division, I had a moustache, then we went away on tour and I didn't take a shaving kit. I couldn't afford one, so I grew a beard and I've had one ever since. I've had it for 36 years.

I'm 57 now and live in mortal fear of dropping my pick on stage because bending down is a bleeding nightmare. That's the worst part of getting old, the involuntary grunts when you pick something up off the floor. And I've noticed I'm not alone. A lot of friends of a certain age do it.

My 14-year-old daughter is my grooming expert: she shaves my back for me. It's one of those odd things that the hair stops growing where it should, and grows in unbelievable amounts where it hasn't grown before.

The hair on my head is OK. I had nothing to do with my father after the age of nine, so I don't know what happened to him hair-wise, but I'm hanging on in there. Mind you, my mate keeps telling me I've got an egg in the nest at the back. That's what they call going bald in Manchester.

I'm lucky, because I still enjoy what I do, and that keeps you young. Considering how angst-ridden Joy Division was and how traumatic New Order could be through the years, I've weathered quite well.

• Peter Hook is appearing at the Edinburgh International Book Festival on 10 August.